Smile like a Bule.

So I know that I smile a lot and that it’s pretty easy to make me laugh. Turns out, this is internationally true. Here in Indonesia, I was told that I am different from the foreigners because I smile a lot and all the foreigners look grumpy and upset, or at least not that happy. But today I realized that, just like all the other foreigners, when I am alone and walking around town, I look at the ground, avoid eye contact, and rarely smile. I ignore hellos in English altogether or respond in Indonesian, seeing even simple greetings as a subtle harassment because I am foreign, I am a bule (pronounced buleh). I do all these things because I do not want to attract attention-usually male- and because in other countries I’ve learned that simple eye contact can mean flirting. But thanks to my Indonesian friend, I realized that we’ve all created a negative cycle where the foreigners are scared to smile and then the locals just think we’re unfriendly and unhappy. I was advised to smile more and let myself be comfortable. I did mention that usually my fear is more acute at night when there are men around, and my fears of that were confirmed. He said that if harassed I should feel free to use force (my friend knows I played rugby). I shouldn’t really ever be out alone in the dark anyway and I’m not for the most part (it also gets dark here at about 6pm though so on occasion it’s unavoidable). Since this conversation I’ve been trying out this new tactic of being at least somewhat friendlier, and less worried. So far so good.
On a side note, I went to another Jatilan, and this time we got to sit on stage. It was amazing, and way scarier than the sidelines. I also got pulled into the dance – something that usually happens to men. I had a suspicion that by sitting right up front I’d be pulled in and then, well, there I was, terrified, not knowing what to do with a hundred eyes on me. The dancer had his scarf around me and mostly I just stood there looking scared, I have no idea how a woman is supposed to behave in that situation. Eventually I was released and ran back to my sit. My friend got a couple photos of me looking like a scared tourist; I’ll put those up soon.
I’ve been spending some time a bit outside the city in a farm area, which has been a relief. Though only fifteen minutes from my house, the air is cleaner, everything is quieter, and there are delicious tomatoes and peanuts to eat. I also got another driving lesson there away from traffic. Yesterday, though, I drove in the city for the first time, and while no one was injured, I did accidentally pop a wheelie...